I am not even sure what I am doing here anymore. In this situation. Why can I not find the version of myself before all of this. I had built myself up so strong not to care. This time, I really didn’t care. I am not sure what changed it all. Or, well, why it is I cannot stop thinking about it. Why I continue to lose large amounts of sleep over it. Over the last month I have slept for no longer than 2 hours at a time. Some nights, I don’t even go to sleep. I literally have to stay awake until my body cannot simply go on any longer. I started off with the right state of mind & here I am in this mess again. The mess of caring.
I just need to remember that this is not the end of the road. This is not the end. I don’t know how much more energy I have left to continue to put energy into this but I hope you figure it all out in you head cause I sure do love having you around.